When Your Ego Gets Bruised


What to do when your ego gets bruised?

Firstly, what does this mean? A bruised ago? It is the day you wake up and realize…you may not be “all that” or “he’s just not into you”. Funny right? But sort of true…I have had a few bruised ego moments…this is when I’m like…last time I checked in the mirror I was fine…thick, pretty in the face, smart…and so on and so forth…one of my wiser friends just recently assured me…it’s not you…it’s them or “him”. I’m like dang…what does a sister have to do these days to get some recognition and reciprocation for all of the hard work and love I put into these relationships? So what to do when the ego gets bruised:

1) Surround yourself with positive people, ie, girlfriends, guy friends, and family…they will always give you confidence…”saying it’s not you it’s them” or “such and such is stupid”.

2) Check yourself: look in the mirror…make sure you still qualify for being “all that”…if not…start a beauty/health regimen…hit the gym…by a new outfit…change your hair style/color…these things are only temporary but they help.

3) Randomly call, text, or email old lovers/friends of the opposite sex…this is encouraging sometimes…but be careful…do not go down a road that ended poorly…sometimes those ones from 5 to 10 yrs ago make you remember why y’all aren’t together and never will be…it’s like looking at where you came from…sometimes you can hook back up but…it may only be temporary.

4) Randomly call, text, or email someone you are not really interested in…the “new” guy you gave your contact info to…sometimes it helps, but then you may realize why you haven’t given him a chance…but it does stroke the ego.

5) Have sex…lol…okay, really be careful and selective with this one…if you are already emotionally distraught from the bruised ego or guy who kicked you to the curb, this is not always safe…especially if you really like the person who could be from the past #3 or present #4. (I don’t particularly encourage one night stands in this day and age…too dangerous…or if you are over the age of 21, ie out of college) Also, use caution when going back to a lover from 5 to 10 yrs or someone presently…in the heat of the moment people lose their minds…temporary insanity…want to go “raw”…not safe people…we all know this…fear of child out of wedlock should be the least of worries…

6) Get drunk! Again be careful…in your drunkenness…you are susceptible to poor decision-making…ie hooking up with past or present love interests that you really are not interested in…cussing out or calling the person who has bruised your ego…driving by such and such’s house…at this point…you have just become the crazy drunk woman…with no sense…

7) Okay…so this should have been first on the list…but pray…go to church…read your bible…once you figure out that the rest of that stuff you tried to do to make yourself feel better is only temporary…you will realize that the void can only be filled by God…it is my hope that filling the void with God and His Holy Spirit…will help to heal me (you) and prepare me (you) for what is to come…to try and be smarter in relationships…to avoid getting a bruised ego…how do you do this? Stay in faith…stay focused…weed out those being used by the enemy to kill, steal, and destroy…

I just don’t think that relationships and dating should be so difficult. Why do people lie? Why don’t people keep it real? Why does a good woman who will do anything for a man she loves…get drug through the mud and called “weak”? So what do I do to be strong? Show no emotion, and no feelings (like a man) When will he respect me? When I act as if I don’t care about him? The shit is crazy!! The truth is: a man has to choose a woman…now many times…when or if a woman chooses a man, it goes nowhere or only so far…what makes me mad is that when a man does chose a woman…the test begins…it’s like they test us to see how “strong” we are. We have to be a closed book…can’t tell them nothing or only a minimal amount of info regarding the past…it will always be used against us for him to decide…naw she ain’t it…they will use any little thing to disqualify a woman…once you have been cancelled out in his eyes…you might as well give it up…the ultimately sad part is that…if you fine…with a big booty…he will string you along…until you finally give up on him, he meets the “one” he’s been searching for, or you are acting too crazy!!

I’m tired of being “that chick”…drug through the mud…it can’t be all my fault…I can’t be this stupid…now I’m not ever going to switch sides…but I can see how a woman can become bitter…not ever give any man a chance…or just treat men like ATMs or whatever ya know…pay before you lay, that type of thing…or just give up dating or even date interracially…(another topic) because no matter the race some of those similarities still remain…

–Signing off for now

Much Luv,

“Dr. Rae”

* When all else fails, just write a blog about your ego getting bruised and get your online friends involved in the discussion…this is a good band-aid…LOL!!


About Dr. Rae

Raechel “Dr. Rae” Rivers was born, raised, and currently resides in St. Louis, Missouri. She has enjoyed creative writing since childhood, but her love of writing grew even stronger during her college years. “Dr. Rae” prides herself on being able to convey such “real” messages about the journey of love. Her words, racy at times, are what some readers need to hear; would not otherwise say, and appreciate for truth and honesty about love-life situations. “Journey to Self: Journey to Love” is her first self-published book printed by Authorhouse. She completed an Ed.S., Educational Specialist degree, in Curriculum and Instruction at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville in 2011; and is a world-renowned Writer, Entrepreneur, and Love Coach. Her life's mission involves encouraging women and young women of all ages to “work on you and love yourself just the way you are”. Raechel’s book, blog, and message on Self-Love have gained national and international popularity. As a result, she founded Embrace Enterprises and Publishing in 2012 to teach youth and adults about Self-Love and pursuing their purpose and passions. Her company’s motto is “Embrace You; A Lifestyle to Be You”. Additionally, Ms. Rivers also offers workshops on Writing, Publishing, Entrepreneurship, and one-on-one Love Coaching Sessions. She believes that “love is a journey where you go searching and ultimately find yourself”.

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