Monthly Archives: July 2009

Lovin’ Me

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I’m feelin’ myself…
Like never before…
This isn’t arrogance
Or false confidence
It’s Love…
Real Love…

I’ve waited my whole life for this moment
A Rebirth
I’m lovin’ everything about me too
Every curve, every blemish
And every kink

So cheers to all the jerks who didn’t want me
And thanks to the fools who let me go
I love me and that’s all that matters
30 is not the new 20,
Baby it’s better!!

Damn…

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Damn…the chemistry is amazin’…
I know you feel it too…
You want me…just like I want you
But I’m not talkin’ bout sex…
I mean yeah that’s half of it…
But the other half is just into you…

Don’t do me like this…make me feel this love…
‘Cause what you got, is hard to come by…
Everybody wants some of that…
I got it too…you best believe it
Indescribable…
Words ain’t enough…
It’s a feelin’…

You know what I’m talkin’ bout?
What we got, makes the sex even better…
Let’s take it slow…relax our minds
Build up anticipation…cause you know I’m waitin’
I want you…for real…you know what I’m on…
Some real shit

Let me make love to you…every part of you
Your body…your soul…your mind…your heart
It’s gettin’ deep before we even start…
Tell me…are you scared?
‘Cause I am…
I never wanna be hurt again…

Dating as We Age

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I was just thinking…is dating getting better as I age? I say yes! Sure I’ve had those days of reflection, and I think that I should have been married or had children by now, but there comes a time when most individuals unmarried especially reach a point or let’s call it a plateau. There is a point where a person feels like “whatever happens happens”. Not to thwart your heart’s desires or plans, but this type of attitude gives a person more patience while waiting for their Mr. or Mrs. Right. As I approach my 29th birthday, (so old right? just kidding) I now finally understand what everyone says when they say, oh just wait and/or just keep working on yourself, just keep on loving yourself. Hey, it finally all makes sense. All those horrible clichés no one wants to hear when they are in search of their Mr. Right. You know I’ve heard it all. Focus on yourself, find out what you like…blah, blah, blah. The reality is these sayings are so true. I’ve even heard, how can you truly love someone else if you don’t completely love yourself. I have to admit that one never really made sense to me because don’t we all have the ability to love our selves and others? But what that means is like on an airplane. They tell you to make sure you have your oxygen mask on first before you start trying to help those surrounding you. Okay, I love that analogy. How can I love on someone else if I dislike everything about me? And when you really love yourself, others can’t help but see what you see or feel the vibrations you give off. And if they don’t see what you see then you know what I always say “kick rocks” chump!! Lol

But yes, my outlook on dating is definitely becoming better as I age and as I continue to work on and love me. Like fine wine baby. How long does it take to get to this point? It is different for everyone. Not to be egotistical, but just to really develop an attitude of accepting nothing but the best from the people in your life or whom you date. It may take some people to have children before they reach this point or to encounter divorce. Some get this while they’re still young others long after 30 and maybe some never get it. But it is a beautiful feeling to possess; just being happy with yourself and still expecting to attract a wonderful mate. When you and your potential mate are both at this point in life, you can do nothing but make beautiful music together. You both realize your own worth, each others’ worth, and that you both deserve the best out of life and from each other. There is nothing like having this mutual respect and the union will be blessed.

Furthermore, on this plateau, some have discovered that being married is not apart of their life’s purpose. They have become very content with themselves or their work. They may realize that they don’t want to have children or be married, but possibly still date people or just one person. There is nothing wrong with this because married life isn’t for everyone. The key is to make sure that you are happy with your life whatever path you choose.

The Bachelor

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I’ve been away for a minute, but now I’m back. I’ve been incurring some inner changes and thought processes, actually taking those chill pills right now. So you know I have to get my VH1 “reality” dating show time in and currently the Bachelor is airing. I haven’t been keeping up with it so I caught it last night and there were six women left. By the end of the episode, he could only give away four roses. Poor guy, he was having a difficult time deciding between six beautiful, intelligent, and hardworking women. So after watching this I’m thinking isn’t this what real life dating feels like sometimes, especially when you’re single? Many women all vying for the same guy; or vice versa as in the case of the Bachelorette. At the end of the show I had to reflect. I felt bad for one of the older women, Heather age 30. She was so into this guy, I think his name is Aaron. I mean she was pouring her heart out on national TV for a guy I’m sure she hasn’t known that long. Not that there’s something wrong with having those feelings for someone you haven’t been dating that long, but she was going all out on TV! You should have seen the expressions that Aaron was making when Heather was trying to get up under him in the Jacuzzi. She was kissing all on him and the guy was looking so disgusted! LOL! Poor girl!

During the rose ceremony, she was looking so depressed like she knew she was going to get cut. Aaron even said in his one on one with the camera that he was not attracted to her. Personally, I thought she was the prettiest lady there well one of the prettier ones, but what does this tell you? Looks are not everything. Guys can sense when you don’t have it together in the head. There is a vibe that is given off. Confidence is way more attractive. I mean even for guys. Women don’t really seem to be as attracted to the clingy man. I think we all want and need a little clinginess at times, but not to the point of feeling smothered. Heather was ready to get married yesterday, and Aaron just wasn’t feeling her and he couldn’t force himself to. I felt badly for her because I know how she felt. At the end of the show she was really crying her eyes out and saying “what’s wrong with me?” Aaron knew that Heather thought something was wrong with herself. I say, her problem was thinking that something was wrong with herself. It is better for people to understand that everyone is not going to like you, and you can’t force someone to like you. Sure you can try to manipulate someone, but in the end your true colors and theirs will always surface. The key is to be confident and to keep believing that the right person for you is out there. If you don’t believe it, then it will never happen. You have to release happy thoughts into the universe while continuously working on yourself and keeping your image and your Spirit in an attractive manner. So ladies, before you find yourself having a “Heather” moment at 30 or anytime, just remember, “I’m okay” and, hey if a man doesn’t pick me then so be it.

I did realize that Aaron was way more attracted to the youngest woman, Brooke age 22 and the meanest woman, Helene I think her name was she may have been 27. I include this to say, I’m realizing that men of all ages enjoy and appreciate some innocence about a woman and possibly a mean streak, but not too mean. Heather thought that Brooke being so young was holding her back, but actually Brooke’s youthful way seemed to make Aaron light up a little. So be yourself, but realize that a youthful glow will give you brownie points. It’s more about what’s going on inside of you rather than how you actually look or wear your hair…again, your Spirit, it will shine through…believe it or not.

As for the mean girl, she seemed to sort of get on his nerves. She was a little negative, which the other lady Hayley, I think that’s her name, who was cut thought was going to get Helene cut. Actually, Helene had the advantage because she forced Aaron to keep it real with the women and himself. His goal was to not lead anyone on. Helene challenged him and kept saying that she is not going to work too hard or just really put herself out there with her feelings if there is no guarantee. Her attitude allowed him to check his true feelings about all of the women and realize how “serious” the dating game was becoming.

I say that real life dating is similar to this show because you can be casually dating two or more people and like and appreciate different aspects about each person. In college, once a guy told me that dating too many women was becoming too expensive. You don’t have to spend money to have creative fun dates. You can go to free events, museums, parks and things like that. At the end of the day the Bachelor or Bachelorette, has to decide which person is for them and just hope that the feelings are mutual. I would hope that people would not just date in vain, but also that is something that can be established early on. It is good to know what you want from someone or what that person ultimately wants from you just to keep the lines clear. Some of my friends (guys and ladies) have said, and we’re all around the same age, that they don’t casually date. Whoever they are involved with is someone they can see themselves marrying. This makes sense to me, but I would want to make sure that the person I’m dating feels the same way. Just like having those check points. The downside is that some people will never fully disclose how they really feel out of fear of losing you especially if they don’t see themselves marrying you. Actually, that is unfair. I would say pray to discern what’s really going on so that there are no surprises. Often times, we intrinsically know where a relationship is heading after the first couple of dates. Just protect your heart and feelings, but not to the point of showing no emotion although that’s how some people operate. Just my thoughts. That’s all for the day! Thanks for tuning in!