Monthly Archives: August 2009

Digital Love

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Has technology enhanced or complicated our love and dating relationships?

Now this is a topic I have been wanting to discuss for some time. When you hear the phrase, what do you automatically think? E-harmony? Match.com? Facebook? Myspace? Online dating…Internet dating…the virtual hook-up…well whatever you think of, it’s all the same. Do you really think that people are “networking” on myspace and facebook? (Some are…either that or being nosy, trying to see what past lovers are up to and if he or she is married/in a relationship what have you) That’s just something you say when you don’t want to seem desperate for a date…”networking” yeah I’m making some assumptions here…lol Anyway, how is the digital environment affecting the dating scene? I will tell you my thoughts, and then let me know what you think.

I think online dating/mating is and can be fun. Yes, I’ve tried it! Lol “networking”. If you’ve never met the person before, it can be a lil scary, especially upon the first meeting. You don’t know what to expect, and you pray that the person is really who they say they are or the same person as the picture on their profile. Beware of people who try to “holla” who don’t post a pic at all. I don’t think anyone is that silly, but you never know. If you are meeting someone you met online for the first time in person, please bring a friend…and try not to just make it a “hook-up” unless that’s just what you are on (protect yourself).

Some of the benefits of the digital love world include e-mail, texting, instant messaging, and video/camera phones and web cams (I don’t have one of those), these amenities aid in keeping in touch especially for long distance relationships. Yes, we’ve come along way from the pen pal method. This works if you met the person out and about or online. The only disadvantage is that sometimes these methods can replace the need for “real” time or even just time on the phone. Believe you me, “there is nothing like the real thing baby” so the lil cute daily texts and e-mails are enough to sustain you while you’re at work or doing whatever it is that you do. When it’s all said and done though, these ways of communicating get you ready for the real time. Do you agree?

In reality, some relationships need not go any further than digital. Sometimes it’s just flirting…but when signals get crossed it can become hazardous…I mean you could really be feeling a person, but do you really know them if you’ve never really spent time with them or even talked to them on the phone? The digital world does help us with our busy schedules. Sometimes it’s just easier to drop a quick e-mail than actually spend time on the phone. This type of communication has turned me into a non-phone person. When it comes down to it, dating digitally or physically is just like this song my girl always sings “if your heart isn’t in it…” But it’s true…”where your treasure (time, money…emphasis mine) is, there also will your heart be” (Matt 6:21). So what are you making an investment in? Are you really just networking and having fun, or are you really trying to get to know someone? Or just making an online booty call? LOL! Regardless of your dating methods, the intentions of your heart will be revealed.

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Is It Okay?

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Is it okay that some days I’m not feeling myself?

Is it okay that some days I fear losing you?

Is it okay that some days I feel like I’m dreaming?

Is it okay that some days I don’t trust you?

Is it okay that some days I don’t feel I deserve your love?

Is it okay that I’m like this because of my past hurts?

Is it okay that you may have to work extra hard to get me to believe in us?

Tell me is it okay?

Is it okay that I think I’m in love with you?

Is it okay that I want to move away from my present to be in your presence?

Is it okay that I want to be with you?

Is it okay that I dream about you in the day and night?

Is it okay that I can see myself being your wife?

Tell me is it okay?

The Focus

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Falling in love is not the focus…not right now…my life purpose is way more important right now. It is my hope that you will become apart of my purpose…but you are not the focus…the focus is me…my Creator…my destiny…my duty…what’s your focus?…my focus is to love…me and you…and what I do…one thing at a time…let’s fall in line…together…let’s love…let’s share…let’s make a difference in the world…together or apart…you are in my heart…but not my main focus…I do love you…but I do love me…and who I am to be in this world…friends’ love last longer than lovers’ anyway…you’re my lover and my friend…let’s focus on being friends right now…we’ll have plenty of time to make love…when the work is done…I’m working on me and you’re working on you…what a blessing to still have a heart connection without the stress…we have mutual understanding and respect…no better feeling between the two…just focus…see what I see…the big picture…the symphony sounds better once each individual note has been mastered…if I don’t do my part and you don’t do yours…our music will not blend…it will end in discord…we’ve both been there before…so right now I’ll just focus on mastering me instead of seeking to manipulate you to give me what I need…I give to myself…I receive what you give…I allow you the freedom to be you…and I freely give to you too…

Love Is Everywhere

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Have you checked your love bank account today? Is it full or empty? Do you need more love in your life? Well if you look around you, love is everywhere! Love within or self-love, love from God, love from family, love from friends, love from animals. You see what I mean? Love is everywhere! If you are ever feeling depleted in this area, or maybe suffering from insufficient love funds, just take a look around. If you still don’t see the love or feel the love, how much love are you giving? What you give will be given unto you. I firmly believe in this principle. It may not come to you from the person who you are giving to, but it will come or is already present. You deserve love; especially God’s love. How can you live without love? Remember, love is everywhere and God is love. Love is within you. So give give give love and you will have a full love account and will receive so much love in return! Just look for the love. Sometimes it can become overwhelming, but we are all in this cycle together. The person who you love so dearly that may not be reciprocating in a way familiar to you or in the way that you give should not be deleted from your love cycle (unless it becomes too emotionally unstable). As you give to this person, you may receive many surprises along the way and/or secret admirers; people or persons you would not even notice or choose to love. So the love always comes back to you. I am speaking from experience. How can you not love someone who is loving you? Someone who is so endearing toward you? You may decide that I just don’t love this person the same way he or she loves me. It is clear to set some sort of boundaries so that you are not leading a person on into thinking that the relationship is more than what it is. Hopefully, you and the person can come to some type of terms for what the relationship means for the two of you. Words unspoken can be very hurtful.

So to keep the good karma coming in, try your best to establish love boundaries. Receive the love and reciprocate the best way you know how. Being in love and/or loving is a beautiful thing! Fill up your love account today!