Monthly Archives: May 2010

Pretty Girls…


These days it seems that being pretty just isn’t enough
Wanna know how I know?
Because all the ugly girls got a man!
Pretty was pretty enough to catch him,
But certainly not keep him…
So what is pretty anyway?
Is he scared of the pretty lady?
Intimidated perhaps?
There used to be a day when she could walk into a room
And men would fall to their knees
Praising the beautiful sight to see
With all this glory and admiration
What keeps her single?
Pretty is what pretty does…
Pretty doesn’t really want a man…
Pretty thrives on the words of many
And this is what she’ll be…
A work of art for all to see
She’s pretty…
And that’s how it shall always be…

(to be continued…)

I’m Ready…Are You?


Are you ready for all of me?
That decision is major
Do you know what’s ahead in dealing with me?
Playtime is over babe
If you hadn’t realized, I’m not average
Or Petite in size

You have to be ready for ALL this woman
She’s sassy, classy, and every bit of jazzy!
She’s spiritual, emotional, and an intellectual
She’s in tune with herself and her world
So tell me, are you ready?

My time is precious
I’ll make room for you in my world
If you do the same
Tell me are you willing to sacrifice
The time it takes to really get to know me
I’m ready…are you?

The Journey to Self


The Journey…to Self…  (April 2010)

Your girl has been undergoing some major changes this year…all for the better.  Working on finishing my Doctoral Program; defining what truly makes me happy and so on and so forth.  2010 hasn’t been glorious…but many of the changes are occurring within, which are going to bring me into a better state mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  My “Love” writing seems to have taken a backseat.  Actually, this is not true.  I am truly embracing what this whole self-love thing is about.  Me and my Sistas/Sisters have really become worn out of the whole can’t get this Man thing right, but really…is it them or is it us that’s the problem??  I’m concluding that it’s a combination of the two.  We as women truly need to stop thinking that we need a man to validate us!  Uh oh…stepping on my own toes.  Let me explain…you may be thinking, Rae what are you talking about?  I don’t believe that!!  The truth is that our “need” for a man…a good man…is okay and natural.  I think that the need to feel validated comes across in how we act/react to our situations with our men. For example, we are defined by so many things on a regular basis, like our hair style/texture…our dress…our occupations…who or how many men we’ve dated in the past…etc etc…our children…etc our cars…

You feel what I’m saying…so the type of man that we desire or who we see ourselves with in fact validates us…but this should not be the case.  I hope I’m making sense and not just rambling with my Mumbo Jumbo…

I always tell my friends…I’ve tried all types of men…I will not list all the types but you know what I mean…from the college/Master degree educated to the preacher to the comedian to the just barely made it out of high school.  You feel me?  Often times, I struggle in conversations with people because they feel that just because I’m working on a PhD that I should be with a man who has one or what have you.

For me, that is the furthest thing from the truth…which you must define your own self-truths and don’t let anyone tell you who you are.

There is more to me than my 2.75 degrees…the man who can realize that about me will have to be the “chosen One”.  LOL!  Ya dig?  I may not be in the education field for the rest of my life…in fact that is not even my plan…I’ve been following a plan that was laid before me from some of the mentors in my life.  I accepted the plan, but I’m a different person now than 5 yrs ago. 

There are men that I know who minimize me almost having a PhD…like it’s never discussed, but then there are some who…my word…that’s all they’re interested in about me…I’m just like look…there is so much about me than what meets the eye.  I’m sure that you my Sisters can definitely relate to this.  For example, you may feel like there is more to you than just a pretty face, or big boobs/booty, etc…and there truly is…

We are God’s precious creations…do we know how precious we are?  Do our men know this as well?  Now for the Sistas…society has beaten us up so much…as well as raised us up in certain lights.  Sometimes our men feel that they can’t compete.  I am living for the day when Sistas and Brothas can just love each other instead of always having to compete with status…maybe then can we truly come into some loving/drama free relationships.  Relationships where there won’t be so many questions regarding sexuality; infidelity; etc…true love…not loving a man or woman because of his/her car or degrees or bank account…but just love…few of us are finding it…but we must know that it starts with self.

So I’m on this journey of finding me…knowing that true love and the things that I truly desire in a mate are on the way…and you know we have to be ready in order to truly recognize it…I thought I was ready…but actually…I’m not…I’m still in the process of defining what’s really important to me.   Someone who validates me because of his stature/status/looks?  Or someone who has the heart?  Both would be nice 🙂  God will reveal…in exactly the right time…and this I know…for now…there’s so much to do just to get/keep Rae right!  And don’t waste time with anymore jerks who are going to drain you mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually…the world is already doing that enough!

Wisdom & Understanding: The Epiphany


Wisdom & Understanding:  The Epiphany

Last week was a little rough.  I had been praying about a certain situation with a guy; praying for some type of revelation as to why this man stopped communicating with me.  Now, I began my detox program on May 1, 2010.  As you know with the detox, you do more than shed the physical pounds; you also shed the dead weight; ie, jobs, people, old thoughts and habits from your life.  Somehow, it’s just difficult to go backwards when you begin the journey to your Higher Self.  Reverting back will always make things difficult and painful for you because as a result you will have to undo and redo everything you’ve been working toward so diligently; the ultimate lifestyle change.

The turmoil I experienced this past week was not in vain.  Thank God!  I just received the revelation that I had been praying for as well as my healing.  As you know, the process had already begun prior to making contact with the man who has decided to become (M.I.A.) missing in action from my life.  I also deviated from my new, pure and holistic diet, which may have clouded my judgment.  Let’s just say, when you are on your way to your next level and to your healing, do not seek out behaviors, individuals, or anything that will be harmful to you.  Sometimes you will not be aware of whether or not a certain person in your life is possibly toxic.  Your Higher Self is always communicating what’s best for you 24/7, but you really have to listen and pay attention.  Often times, the universe (God), is actually doing us a big favor when someone decides to exit our life without giving us a warning sign. 

Presently, I’m totally okay with the recent rejection I’ve encountered.  It has brought me back to my life’s mission.  Now that I’ve re-focused my energy back on developing things that I love (my work, my writing), I feel 100% better.  I can’t believe that I allowed myself to travel backwards on my journey.  So for the last week, I was really trying to figure out what went wrong?  Why ol’ boy has just disappeared on me?  But some type of miraculous healing has taken place in my life, and it took seven whole days and also getting back to my pure diet for me to receive this healing.  I mean I had been beating myself up thinking I did something wrong to run the brother away.  The more he ignored me, the more the crazy woman, old me acted out.  Acting out is never the way to get a man’s attention.  He will come around when he’s good and ready; I just don’t know what the excuse for no communication will be and honestly I could care less.  Me being able to look back on even my past year of development of self is enough for me to be proud of and realize how strong I really am.

Anyone who appears to try and drag you down or get you off of your path to the ultimate love of self and Creator, doesn’t need to be around anyway.  Those are people who only want to be around for their own self-interests and not to add any type of substance to your life.  It is better to recognize the red flags early on; and you know what?  The flags were present the whole time; I just ignored them and pursued what I thought would be satisfying for me at the time.  In the long run, I wound up feeling hurt and misunderstood.  I’m so grateful and thankful for this day to be able to wake up and worry no more about a week old situation.  Letting go and focusing on me has been the best remedy thus far!