Interracial Dating, Cougar Life, and the Sexual Energy of 22 yr/o Men



Long title for an entry I know…It could probably be a book within itself.  Initially, this was supposed to only be about interracial dating, but I had such an exhilarating weekend that I needed to include all topics.  So here goes.

As the weekend comes to a close and I contain the spirit of Sexual Goddess “Blanche Devereaux”, you remember our Golden Girl, Rue McClanahan, as well as other sexy Cougars; Samantha from Sex and the City; Mariah Carey; Demi Moore; and “Ms. Berry Ms. Berry”, who we all know as Halle; I have to reflect upon my own Goddess energy which has recently created an influx of young male attraction.  Lawd, I must be glowing or something!!  LOL!  Pure Self-Love in full effect and taking flight…the almost 30 vibe and loving it!!        

As you know since May 1st I’ve shed at least 15 to 20lbs, which was the goal for my 30th Birthday on September 25th.  Well weight loss brings with it an exuberant flow of confidence, which we all know is very attractive and sexy.  I just didn’t know that dropping 20 would draw in sooooo many men.  Whew!  I’m overwhelmed!  Oh and not just any men; 22 year old men!  Mercy!  I feel like “fresh meat” all over again only with some wisdom this time.  I mean they are black (African-American); they are white (of European descent); heck they are even of mixed race descent (like I don’t know the ethnic background), which I believe we all have “something” in us if we were born and raised in the heart of what we now know as America. 

All I know is that I’m feeling like “Rae the Cougar”, more so in theory not practice; for all you scholars.  And for the non-scholars, it just means that the Youngins have caused me to really consider this whole Cougar thing, but I haven’t actually begun practicing the ideal.  LOL!  (just keeping it PC…politically correct)  Let’s just say that the flirting with the idea has really been fun and entertaining.  I honestly feel 22 again.  (smile).  One of my young white boys told me I was “vibrant”.  (He actually has a very strong energy…whew I can still feel that…lol).  I think they even forget that I’ll be 30 next month.  Ha ha!  It’s cool though.  These young 20 something males have such a powerful energy.  They just draw me in…lol…there is something to be said again about Soul connections.  You can feel how they supersede the physical realm.  The Soul is who we are outside of this body.  We all look very different outside of this body than in this body.  I’m sure we all look identical outside of this body…possibly.  What does Spirit look like?  Just think about that for a moment.  The most racist person is obviously out of touch with what is and has happened on a Soul level.  Hmm…makes you think…

We are all approaching a new level of consciousness as the world continually evolves…so it’s not a surprise that I can connect with the consciousness and energy of the 22 year old male (despite race), if he is an open-minded and free Spirit such as myself.  I’m thinking that Spirit knows no age…I do know that love is blind so in turn love is ageless (so no more trying to figure out Ashton and Demi or Nick and Mariah).  I’m learning that any situations that I’ve previously misjudged, I’m being confronted with; and I’m totally okay with the learning process.  It feels good.  And I just love new experiences and sharing them.  

For so long, some Sistahs have been giving some Brothas such a difficult time about their choice to date outside of their race.  I used to be one of those women.  Angry, single, black woman; well not anymore. Some of my best friends and favorite people would not be alive if it were not for interracial dating, mating, and relating.  As I began to release that hatred, I also began attracting my own interracial dating experiences.  Sure there are a few cultural differences, but there is also so much to learn and share with each other.  Now we all may have a preference for who we would like to marry and bring home to mom and dad.  The truth here is that, whomever you prefer to bring home, is who you will bring home.  That’s really all I have to say about that one.  I have a long list of the characteristics of who I would like to bring home…all the way down to even a preference in race.  However, I happen to enjoy the company of men and meeting even culturally different ones.  I have not stepped foot outside of this country yet, but have been afforded the opportunity to meet and mingle with such diverse people.  I feel blessed to have encountered these experiences; that some people may never have because of fear or any other personal barriers they may possess. 

In honor of this post, check out a scene from one of my favorite movies, “A Bronx Tale”.  Ha, my family used to say that I looked like Jane back in the day.  Oh and how I used to love me some “Tom Anstey” when I was a little girl, but only my grade school friends know about that love connection.  Where is Tom today?  lol!!

C, had just learned that you only get 3 “great ones”…Soulmates maybe?  So I guess Jane was one of his great ones!  🙂   Click on the youtube link below.

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About Dr. Rae

Raechel “Dr. Rae” Rivers was born, raised, and currently resides in St. Louis, Missouri. She has enjoyed creative writing since childhood, but her love of writing grew even stronger during her college years. “Dr. Rae” prides herself on being able to convey such “real” messages about the journey of love. Her words, racy at times, are what some readers need to hear; would not otherwise say, and appreciate for truth and honesty about love-life situations. “Journey to Self: Journey to Love” is her first self-published book printed by Authorhouse. She completed an Ed.S., Educational Specialist degree, in Curriculum and Instruction at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville in 2011; and is a world-renowned Writer, Entrepreneur, and Love Coach. Her life's mission involves encouraging women and young women of all ages to “work on you and love yourself just the way you are”. Raechel’s book, blog, and message on Self-Love have gained national and international popularity. As a result, she founded Embrace Enterprises and Publishing in 2012 to teach youth and adults about Self-Love and pursuing their purpose and passions. Her company’s motto is “Embrace You; A Lifestyle to Be You”. Additionally, Ms. Rivers also offers workshops on Writing, Publishing, Entrepreneurship, and one-on-one Love Coaching Sessions. She believes that “love is a journey where you go searching and ultimately find yourself”.

5 responses »

  1. My life would be so different if my mother hadn’t been in a interracial relationship. He was my dad in every since, except for skin color. So many women of all races criticized my parent. But I am a better person because of them. They gave me so much culture, love, tolerance and acceptance that I would not have known otherwise. While I dated men of different races and nationality, I too had the list of what was acceptable to take home to mom and dad, skin color never made that list. I married a European not because of color but who he is. And I couldnt be more proud og my beautiful dual citizen daughter…

    PS girl we all had a crush on Tom…I must have been a cougar all those years ago!

  2. LOL! Thanks for sharing Mary! Yeah, on some days my long list…gets cut short…lol, especially as I continue to have new experiences. Ol Tom…you better back up off my man…oh, he wasn’t just my man, my bad! lol 😉

  3. When it comes to relationships I am looking for a compatible partner who has qualities that I like. I don’t look at culture or color for my choice. Only because color is just that, the color of the skin. If I find a man who is into all the things I enjoy and he is open-minded and he happens to be white, I am fine with that. Age, I am still working on that. I am 25 and would like someone between 24-33. But I am thinking I am limiting my self and should just be open to whoever enters my life.

  4. Beautifully written Lisa! I agree with you…I think the important part is just knowing what you want…for me trying new things has led me to continue to discover what I really want. Thanks for the feedback!

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