Monthly Archives: September 2010

Kiss the 20s Goodbye!


Wave Goodbye to these 20s
Say Hello to the 30s
The “New Rules” for 30 & Beyond:
What the 20s Taught Us in Love & Relationships

1.  Do not be a “Stalker”…online (FB) or off line for that matter.  You will always find out something you don’t want to see, and there are plenty of constructive things that you can be doing with your time.  Read a book or do something to further develop yourself.

2.  Do not knowingly be a “Side-Chick”…unless it’s just that good and discretion is your best friend.  Being someone’s side dish instead of his main course is never cute, especially not at 30 and beyond…you are just too grown for that.  There is not a shortage of men.  Enjoy your “you” time or family time.

3.  Always protect yourself and/or use some type of birth control… if you are not ready for children or if you are unmarried.  An unplanned pregnancy or an unexpected visit to the doctor can be detrimental for you and your partner.  Just wrap it up!  Or enjoy yourself instead.  Nothing wrong with celibacy when you’re single and out of your 20s…it’s safer that way and uncomplicated.

4.  Take care of your health.  Eat right.  Exercise.  Yoga or something.  At 30 and beyond, your health should be top priority.  You have to be healthy to raise children and watch them grow as well as to do everything in life even to work.  You will be much happier about life after shedding a few pounds.  If you don’t have time…make the time.  When your body is healthy, you are healthy…mentally, physically, and emotionally.  It’s not an overnight thing…but be cognizant of what’s going in…and hope that it’s coming out as well.

5.  Never ever ever…chase a man!  It never has been and never will be cute…ever in life.  Promise yourself that you will never do it again in this Lifetime.  Expressing interest and flirting is one thing…but hunting him down…serial texting him, blowing up his phone, etc…will help you lose every time.  If he was interested, he just lost interest after that 3rd text and fourth email you sent him.  LOL!!  And didn’t give him a chance to respond.  (This may go both ways for the fellas too; you will know when a woman is truly interested in you).  Men at any age can smell desperation like a dog smells fear…he will either take advantage of you or ignore you. 

6.  Go on way more dates…than booty calls.  If you have more booty calls than dates, you should definitely re-evaluate your life plan.  You did not just discover sex…nothing is open after Midnight, except 7-11 and Walmart.  Sex can always wait.  Try to really get to know the man before hopping into the sack.  You will respect yourself in the morning.  Just because he bought you dinner, it doesn’t mean you have to give him dessert at your place.  Just chill out.

7.  No more Community Service Project Dating.  If he’s broke, let him remain.  If he’s not that attractive to you, don’t try to fix him up.  If he has low self-esteem, run.  If he’s under-educated, don’t convince him that school is the way unless he asks you about it.  Just give it up.  Don’t put more time into helping someone else than you do for yourself…just work on you until Mr. Right shows up.  Mr. Right may not have everything you want when you meet him, but don’t allow anyone to use you up. 

8.  Trust your Intuition.  If you think he’s lying, 9 times out of 10, he is.  If you think he has a girlfriend, he probably does.  If you think he’s a player, yep, you’ve guessed it…Sometimes we can be wrong about our initial assessment of a man.  If he seems too good to be true…let that be the guiding light.  Trust your gut feelings and pray and consult friends and family who can be honest with you; those who are not jaded.  Definitely get an objective perspective in your dealings with someone who seems a little shady, secretive, or dishonest.  Don’t be fooled by love or (infatuation).

9.  To the best of your ability, be honest with yourself and others.  Know what you want from a man.  Most of the time, when we meet someone, we know exactly what we want after the first conversation, date, or text/email contact.  Try not to mislead yourself or others.  You will know if the chemistry is only suggesting for you to be friends or something more.  Slow is good.  Let the relationship unfold as it may…and try not to rush into something.  He knows that you are 30 and beyond and ready to settle down and that he is too…unless he’s a Youngin’… LOL!  If you don’t have children, or if you want more children, try to discuss this early on…make sure you are on the same page.  Let the man put a ring on it before you decide to play house! 

10.  Just be easy.  Find out what the 30s have in store for you.  Aspire to have the good life that you desire and see it through.  Praise God that you made it out of the 20s!