ManGagement Ring: Are You Serious?

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The other day I was watching the local St. Louis news; and there was a story about the “ManGagement” Ring.  Apparently, this is a practice that has been going on for some time amongst more affluent couples according to one of the local jewelers.  Now you can call me an old fashioned girl regarding how I feel about this ideal.  Although I consider myself to be very progressive in my approach to dating, proposing marriage to a man is where I draw the line.  The Word says, “He who finds a wife…” and you know the rest…Now I’ll admit there are ways to insinuate what you want from a guy whether it be food; affection; going out on a date; money; etc; and maybe even marriage…but getting down on one knee?  No, please pick up your self-esteem and security Sister! 

What is happening in the way we date these days?  Technology has already changed the game; leaving us with less time to properly communicate and actually build relationships with substance via texting, Facebook, and Twitter.  ie. (the virtual booty call)  Are women becoming this desperate for a man?  For a spouse?  Whatever happened to the “Cinderella”, “Sleeping Beauty”, “Little Mermaid” love stories?  Am I delusional to still want to see my fairytale dream proposal/wedding come to fruition?  Or are we really products of the Barbie/Ken generation?  She had so much money she could buy her man…kind of like Oprah and Star Jones…idk! 

I have been far removed from TV as of late, but I heard some woman proposed and bought a ring for Jim Jones.  Wtf?  If I’m buying a ring, it won’t be for such a scruffy looking man.  LOL!  And did homegirl just happen to buy him a ring with his own money? Lmao!  Who does that?  Rich women I guess…so ladies, do you really feel, as one woman on the news put it, that the men should have on something that shows they’re taken (about to get married)?  Or can we stick to the traditional value that the woman wears the ring because she is his prize; and it doesn’t really matter whether he wears one or not? (Because he’ll just be a Bachelor up until the night before the wedding).

I refuse to propose; and I like to believe that I’m secure enough to not require my future man to wear a “ManGagement” Ring.  If he’s sincere in wanting to make that loving commitment and not just marrying out of obligation, then he’ll wear his ring in his heart.  A ring is only a symbol which some people (men and women) defy daily.  Even society doesn’t seem to remember what the symbol stands for…are we really all about status and/or cost of the ring more so than the true values of the relationship?  Enter Kim Kardashian and her lavish engagement ring and wedding plans.  Does it mean you love me more because of how much the ring costs or how big it is?  No!  A true loving relationship and commitment has no price tag…and it seems that rings are for show (since not many value its symbolism these days).  I’m just sayin…     

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About Dr. Rae

Raechel “Dr. Rae” Rivers was born, raised, and currently resides in St. Louis, Missouri. She has enjoyed creative writing since childhood, but her love of writing grew even stronger during her college years. “Dr. Rae” prides herself on being able to convey such “real” messages about the journey of love. Her words, racy at times, are what some readers need to hear; would not otherwise say, and appreciate for truth and honesty about love-life situations. “Journey to Self: Journey to Love” is her first self-published book printed by Authorhouse. She completed an Ed.S., Educational Specialist degree, in Curriculum and Instruction at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville in 2011; and is a world-renowned Writer, Entrepreneur, and Love Coach. Her life's mission involves encouraging women and young women of all ages to “work on you and love yourself just the way you are”. Raechel’s book, blog, and message on Self-Love have gained national and international popularity. As a result, she founded Embrace Enterprises and Publishing in 2012 to teach youth and adults about Self-Love and pursuing their purpose and passions. Her company’s motto is “Embrace You; A Lifestyle to Be You”. Additionally, Ms. Rivers also offers workshops on Writing, Publishing, Entrepreneurship, and one-on-one Love Coaching Sessions. She believes that “love is a journey where you go searching and ultimately find yourself”.

7 responses »

  1. Those days have passed but there are still a few old fashion men out there. Plus this is a new of romance and clever wording in 140 characters or less.

  2. I dont agree with MAN-gagement rings. i believe in the old fashion way. Women get desperate when they propose and it makes me feel like i dont have much of a say in the relationship. When a man proposes to a woman he wants her to know that he wants her to himself and will move heaven and earth to carry his last name and his kids (if they dont have any together)

    When a woman proposes, whats the reason behind it?? theres nothing ive heard from my family and friends or from the bible that will make this hold water or to validate this crap.

  3. Thanks for the feedback guys!! Yes, I think society is making so many excuses for men not to be men by stepping up and expressing real love for women. It’s as if the new age dating rules have taken everything away when it comes to men celebrating/parading their woman…Sort of like those “reality” shows that show women desperately competing for the affections of a man…smh!! We really need to learn how to let men be real men…instead of pacifying situations…like he’s a boy…some women did not have a Father who celebrated them…and some men did not have a Father to show them how to properly celebrate women sans the “Pimp” mentality…but we can make and stick to our own rules I say!

    • i agree. my dad and i lived in separate homes, but he was around enough for me to learn quite a bit from him. he told me that u in order to be balanced, you have to have 4 strengths: mental, physical, financial, and spiritual (which by the way, you can use for your next book wink wink lol)

      i strongly believe in that because i know that a man is balanced when he has everything in order. im getting there, slowly but surely, and i know what to do and not to do…and for a woman to propose to me isnt right nor normal. its one thing for a woman to say that she wants to marry a man, IN TIME, but not go down on one knee….seems like she wants to perform oral sex rather than proposing. im just saying lol

  4. Well, I don’t find anything wrong with a guy getting a diamond ring. Google: Diamond Jim Brady.

    I don’t think it was literally the reverse of a women getting down on her knees and proposing. A marriage is supposed to be a union of two people. The whole “brides special day” is really kind twisted the meaning of marriage here in America. Bridezilla and Housewives reality shows push this notion but its really tacky and superficial and lacks all sense of class you ask me.

    I think what more financially successful couples are doing is both getting nice rings. If a man spends say 10,000 on an engagement ring, there is nothing wrong with the women getting him something equally as special or at least something half that price. Its a union, not a housewives reality show.

    And by the way ladies, if we want equal pay, we can’t be sending mixed messages. Saying you want totally traditional only when it comes to marriage opens the door to the next question. Then why dont you stay at home and cook and clean like traditional marriage used to be like.

    Trust me, as long as the ring looked strong and masculine, most guys would love getting a ring someone down the line.

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