Monthly Archives: May 2012

Race & Dating Matters: Man Is Still Man


Please don’t be mistaken; men are men.  There is something intrinsic about them, quite strange, where they feel they have been designed to hunt and conquer you.  Even once you land your man, ie marry, or get that sought after relationship title; it seems that you can’t show him that you are all in…this we’ve heard our elders say, and this we know from experience.  We must move away from the stereotypes such as “white men marry, with foreigners you don’t have to work, and with black men you do have to work”, blah blah blah!  Each man has his own personality and specific desire of his ideal woman.  He will let you know if you are his “Dream Girl”; he will show you.  Words are becoming so played out these days…we look for the actions to line up with the heart of a man.  So despite race…man is still man…you just be the beautiful, smart, and confident woman that you are…and don’t chase down love…you may chase him away…

While I’m on this notion that man is still man, please don’t become so blind-sided by the ideal of love that you miss the fact that we are living in some harsh times of dark energy.  Meaning, woman, Sistas, and all of my Sisters of every race…pray, pray, pray!  You don’t want to attract a man who only wants a piece of you because of your race or skin color; how shallow.  Unfortunately, there are still some guys out here like that.  We must pray for discernment with any man to find out his true intentions with us.  He may only be looking for a good time; he may have no real intentions of being with you.  He may just want to say that he’s been with a (insert race) woman.  He may be carrying his own stereotypes, like “a black woman will rock his world; a white woman will do anything in the bedroom”, and I don’t know what they’re saying about all my other Sisters of other races; “Asian women are here to serve”.  Please be careful ladies!
The other extreme is men who only want to date you because you all are not the same race.  These men possess self-hatred and prejudice against their own people, which is a learned behavior.  Recently, one of my mom’s friends called to attempt to hook me up with a young man who believes that “black women are trashy”.  Wow!  So you are talking about your mother too I assume.  So now he wants to date white women.  I’m sorry but there are trashy women of all races out here.  So I guess she wanted him to meet me so that he can change his perspective; but I don’t want any parts of the re-education of this lost young man.  Maybe he can just read this blog post. 😉Additionally, people seem to be living in a fear zone of some post-racism war, which mind you never ended decades ago.  Things became hush hush; Affirmative Action became popular for a stint; and Black athletes have been coined as the new 40 Million Dollar Slave.  Furthermore, in the sports and entertainment industry, White and foreign women have been impressed upon these men; that these women are better than black women, which further promotes self-hatred and prejudice.  Black women picked up on this vibe in the media and entertainment incurring the same belief system and losing our own self-love; longing to look more like a woman of European, Brazilian, or other descent; anything but African.  I digress but as I stated earlier, prejudice of self and others is a learned behavior.  We either get it from home; from our own people; or from society and the media.

I am very proud of my brothers and sisters who banded together Nationwide to tell America that a half Mexican, half White police officer had no right to harass and kill a young black boy and get away with it.  Justice was served; and we still have a long way to go.  My own personal voice will continue writing for the promotion of peace and self-love; love of God, who lives in you; and love of others.  How can we love God and not love each other?  We are fighting a spiritual war; and “blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God”.