Okay, there are two issues here that I need to address today. 1) That awkward phase when you are dating someone but you are technically not with them; let’s call it the “no title phase” & 2) Guys who you are not attracted to or interested in hitting on you.
First things first; the no title phase is super awkward because you are seeking definition for this new relationship that has blossomed beyond the 90 day mark (see previous post above). While you haven’t quite attained the sought after “girlfriend” title, you have realized that this man is worth keeping around to find out if the love bud the two of you share will grow into full bloom. As you continue to nurture this new relationship, the feelings you had for the old candidates begin to fade. Contrastingly, your zeal for seeking new ones is beginning to dwindle. Wow! Yes, even in the summertime! Is this what the post-thirty journey has in store? Maybe. Looks like everyone is either settling down and/or having children; getting divorced; or working on their second marriages. I’m just sayin! So where do you and your possible beaux fit in? “What is your title?” Remember, you don’t have one. One of you may be starting to feel the itch of “let’s make this thing official” while the other is still taking it slow because of fear, baggage, or just not ready to be locked in yet. So no, you don’t have a boyfriend despite the delusions you have conjured up in your head; which brings me to point number two.
So what do you tell the guys who you are not attracted to or interested in about your relationship status? I don’t know about you, but I am tired of coming up with excuses for them! LOL! Boo doesn’t know this, but when it comes to talking to men that I don’t like, I am claiming him hands down! 😉 It is hilarious and I crack myself up! Hey, an imaginary boyfriend works for me when some slick talking sugar daddy, or some short guy (sorry), or some ultra confident guy (who may not be so attractive to me) comes with the game. It’s becoming “sickening”. Beauty is a gift and a curse. I am tired of explaining my single status in defense of being pretty, over the age of thirty, and single. Is there something wrong with that? No! Like, this is not the 50s, geez! I mean, if I’m so special and such a catch, doesn’t that mean that I just can’t be with anyone? I want to be with the right someone; the one who is just for me and someone to compliment me inside and out. Okay, I’m off of that soapbox.
So what are the rules of engagement or non-engagement *wink* of the no title phase? Are there any specific rules? Can you still see or date other guys who you do find attractive? Should you still be in communication with old boos/lovers? I’d say, don’t discount any new catches that you meet because during this awkward phase, your post-90 day man is still trying to figure out who he really wants you to be in his life; if he hasn’t already figured that out. But, what I’m saying is that you are young, vibrant, and beautiful and if a guy you find attractive, mentally, physically, or spiritually wants to take you out for a bite to eat, go for it! I don’t highly suggest hooking up with old flames because they can make things confusing. Old feelings and issues may arise and you will remember why the old relationship didn’t work out. That discretion is totally up to you. I’m sure there are some who have found out that with an old flame, the time you spent before with this person was indeed bad timing. It is up to the individual to weigh the old situation with the new love. Which person do you believe would be better for you? Only you can decide. Pray about it. Seek discernment. There will always be a risk factor in matters of the heart; and if you are serious about giving your heart away, you will take the risk. Attempting to be a play-girl or serial dater all your life will not get you to your ultimate goal of becoming a girlfriend or wife. (If that’s your goal).
As I always suggest, this journey is more about you than it is the guys anyway. There are tons of options to weigh and things to do while waiting for your imaginary “boyfriend” to come to his senses and realize that you are the one! Don’t play too much with those other candidates because you don’t want to create any bad karma. Definitely have fun getting to know yourself and others. Some of those new guys could turn out to become some of your best friends and honesty is always forthright. Other people that you all are dating or involved with make for good table talk over dinner and drinks. Have fun and Happy Summer! Smoochez!! 😉