Monthly Archives: November 2012

Holiday Love

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Well the holidays have finally arrived!  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Our holidays wouldn’t be complete without love in our lives right?  Of course not!  This time of the year is meant to be cherished and spent with family, friends, and loved ones.  This is the time of the year where you are excused for being a kid again.  You can enjoy and create your own holiday magic.  For some, this time of the year can be difficult because some of our loved ones are no longer with us.  They would want us to be happy and enjoy the memories we have of them.  Also, for some of us this time of the year is difficult because we are somewhat conflicted about our single status and/or job status.  I am in a better state of mind this year than I was last year.  I remember being very depressed last Christmas as I dwelled upon everything that I didn’t have in my life; I was unemployed, man-less and without a vehicle.  My loving parents continued to remind me of everything I had in my life; such as them.  Some people don’t have family or friends to spend these happy days with.  Just when you think your situation is bad, it really could always be worse.  It sounds very cliché but it is in fact true.  We don’t wish bad on anyone, but we also must not judge someone’s situation.  You don’t know how or why some people are less fortunate than you.

Good love; is that good fortune?  Why yes, however, you shouldn’t let your single status affect your holiday mood.  Needless to say, it can.  I am blessed to have my family, my friends, and my “love friend”.  The key here is releasing our expectations of people.  I am working on my emotional state of being and counting my blessings.  I am under-employed which is better than being unemployed.  I still don’t have a vehicle, but so what.  I have accepted where I am right now, but I am also increasing my expectations.  Not my expectations of the people in my life or pressuring my “love friend” to take our relationship to the next level; but I am increasing my expectations of my overall life!  I believe that I deserve more from life, and I expect to receive those blessings in the right timing!  Positive energy and expectation creates the atmosphere to receive the blessings. 

 In my mind, I’d love to have a house, and cook, and entertain family and friends; those are some of the blessings of this time of year.  I’d love to have a romantic holiday too.  I’m a dreamer; and there is nothing wrong with that.  The scenario that I’ve just created isn’t the only aspect that makes the holiday.  Being with your family; engaging in self-love practices; eating, relaxing, hanging out with friends; that’s what makes the holiday.  For some, it may be volunteering at the local shelter or at church; doing something to help the less fortunate or just helping out with the children in your life.  God has blessed me to be an Aunt and a Godmother; there really is enough love to go around in my life for me not to be depressed about what I don’t have.

As we focus on what we do have in our lives and all the love, then more will be given to us.  It is a Universal Law.  This time of the year will be filled with happy surprises because we expect them!  The goals that we have been working toward all year regarding our careers, our life purpose, and our love life will manifest because of our hard work on them and our expectations.  The key now is to enjoy the moments!  Enjoy the people and the Holiday Magic in your life!  Create great holiday memories and live to tell about them! 

  

“First Date”

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I finally gathered enough energy to go out on a “real date” with someone new!  Yay!  Go Me!  For the past couple of weeks, well for the past month or so, I had been feeling the urge to anyway; considering the inaction and non-actions of the “Boo-Thang” (love interest).  Last time I checked in with you all I told you how “I didn’t get the memo” that he had been seeing/dating other women; and how he is not ready to be in a committed relationship with me.  I was tired of selling myself short; just waiting around for him to decide whether or not I am “the one” for him.  Consequently, my date with the new guy was great!
Do you think that sometimes in dating we just take off too fast?  I do.  We are ready to plan out the whole relationship, marriage, and babies upon first meeting someone we really like.  That’s really not normal!  In fact, what is normal these days in love and relationships?  I told my hottie of a date last night that people come into our lives when we need them to.  We both agreed that honesty works best; even though sometimes giving away too much information can be a turn off, everyone deserves the right to know who or what type of situation they are possibly getting themselves into.  My date was just about as authentic as me, and I really appreciated that about him.  Everything was movie/picture perfect for a “First Date” situation; even our waitress was *blushing*. 

I have to say that this something/someone new who I encountered last night created a fresh energy for me.  Don’t we want all of our relationships/friendships to give us that feeling?  How do we lose that sense along the way with some of our love interests?  Some dating situations turn stale and sour.  Maybe it’s because one person wants more from the other, like a commitment; or wanting to change that person.  The only one you can change is you; and if you don’t like the way a dating situation is working out then you should explore other options because trying to force someone into something or force them to change will make you miserable.  You wind up losing yourself and sight of your purpose. 

 Well, me and my date plan to see each other again.  How exciting!  I mean we had things in common and talked about everything under the sun.  New friendships/relationships are always fun in the beginning, and we hope to be able to maintain authenticity with people.  It feels good to be around people who allow you to be yourself!  He wondered what I am planning to do with my “Boo-Thang” now.  A couple of weeks ago I released a YouTube video on Boo-Thangs, and how we deserve to be more than just a “homieloverfriend”.  Of course I still have feelings for the dude (we are approaching 9 months), but I’ve decided that I can’t just sit around and wait for him; and I really don’t think at this point in his life that he’s expecting me to.  Maybe he’ll come to his senses or maybe he too will continue to date other women or whatever it is that he does when he’s not with me.  Whatever happens, I know that things will work out for the good for everyone because I believe in God and that the Universe is always working to bring me only good; and that’s what I expect for my life! 

 So, no, I’m not going to plan anything…I still desire a relationship/a commitment but this doesn’t usual happen overnight.  Not that it can’t…but our actions must show God that we are open to receiving only the best by removing or letting go of situations or people that block us from receiving what we desire deep inside!

The holidays are approaching!  Good luck cuddling up with your “Boo-Thangs” or your New Thangs!  I love you all!  And I’ll keep you posted!

 

–Dr. Rae  

STL Author’s New Book Takes a Unique Journey Through Love

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STL Author’s New Book Takes a Unique Journey Through Love
by Raegan Johnson

Like many women, Raechel Rivers, 32, grew up with dreams of meeting prince charming, having a few kids and living happily ever after.  But, roughly 42 percent of African American women have never been married—and Rivers is one of them.

“When I reached my late twenties, I began to wonder when is it going to happen?” she says. “I watched friends get married, fall in love, and I wondered why my time hadn’t come. Then I realized I was on a journey toward love, but it didn’t involve anyone else.”

Rivers’ new book, Journey to Self; Journey to Love, is a collection of personal poems, thoughts, and blog entries from her journey through love.

“This book portrays a young woman crossing over from the confusion of adolescence to the responsibility of womanhood–with a sense of self-knowledge,” she says. “In my search for love, I’ve continued to make a full circle back to myself and my Creator. Some of the stories are sad and some funny, but all are worth sharing.”

Journey to Self; Journey to Love is available for $13.99 on Authorhouse.com or $14.99 at Barnes & Noble and on Amazon.com.

“When blogging first became popular, I would post my reflections and thoughts about love and dating,” she says.  “I received a lot of positive feedback. People were inspired and could relate. They suggested that I document what I was posting.  So I did, and it became my book; sort of like a journal.”

Rivers says writing the book was liberating as she faced inner struggles and learning to love herself.

“Through the book, I was able to move forward without dwelling on failed relationships and develop new, healthy relationships. This book is geared more toward single women; but it is also for anyone who wants to discover or re-discover how to love their own person, love God and love others.”

With so many love and relationship books on the market, Rivers says authenticity makes her book stand out.

“I keep it real!” she said.  “I do not sugarcoat how it feels to be single. I do not sugarcoat what single women go through in finding ourselves and navigating through dating and relationships.  I’m not afraid of the truth; it is what sets me free.”

For Rivers, Journey to Self; Journey to Love is just the beginning.

“I’m working on the Self-Love Handbook as a follow-up book,” she said.  “It is more of a guidebook than a tell-all. I am also working on a possible fiction book and a screenplay.”

Follow Rivers’ blog on https://drrae.wordpress.com, www.twitter.com/raeluvs2write, www.youtube.com/drraelovecoach.