Category Archives: digital

Social Media Do’s & Don’ts

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eyes computerAm I the only one in a love/hate relationship with social media these days? At times I find myself spending too much time on sites such as Facebook and Twitter, and being less productive in my personal and business goals as a result. Does that sound like you? In order to overcome this challenge in the new year, I’ve created some social media guidelines in order to discipline myself and the time that I spend on such sites. These suggestions for participating online are my attempt to intervene social media addiction. Having an online presence is a great networking and marketing tool for business; finding like-minded groups of people with similar hobbies/interests; and for staying in touch with family and old colleagues. However, individuals should assess the time they spend online and if it’s making him or her counterproductive. An intervention may be necessary; as I mentioned in an article post on Yahoo Voices, “Social Media Burn Out: Do You Need An Intervention?”. It is my hope that these unspoken rules will help me maintain focus and monitor time spent online for greater productivity in my life because “time is money”. Enjoy!

1) Do give yourself a weekly or daily time limit. It can be addictive; so all day everyday is not cool. There’s a real world going on outside of social media.

2) Don’t use it to communicate with close family and friends—unless it’s only for fun.  Talking on the telephone is more intimate, and sending a text message is more personal than communicating online; even in business.

3) Do use it for positive social networking, business connections, and promotions. You never know who you might meet that can invest in your business idea or become a potential client, customer, business colleague, or employer.

4) Don’t use it to “vent” about your personal life or personal business unless it’s funny lol. Remember every one of your FB friends or Twitter followers is not necessarily your real friend; some of them are just lurkers and “haters”.

5) Do use it to keep current with media, social, and world news; especially if you don’t have a TV like me. I’m going to get one of those antenna devices this year and get some local news and TV programs running so that I know what’s going on in the world.
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6) Don’t over-post random shit. Your Timeline is constantly being bombarded by randomness from you, your friends, celebrity and support group pages you follow. Give it a rest sometimes. If you are annoyed by some of the same posts that you see all day everyday, people are probably annoyed by your posts as well.

7) Death to the “Selfie”. I am guilty as charged on this one. If you must take selfies, pictures of yourself, personal photo shoots in your bathroom, just text the selfie to a friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Resist the urge to constantly post them on your social media sites; even Instagram, because some people are lurking or could be stalking you without your knowledge. I’ve watched enough “Criminal Minds” and “Lifetime” movies to believe that serial killers do exist. I have over 100 selfies stored in my phone and all of them have not been posted online, but many of them have. I’m thinking of deleting some of them off of my Facebook page and saving them to my computer’s hard drive. If you happen to go through an introverted social media phase, don’t become the “lurker” or stalker yourself because you really don’t have time for it.

8) Don’t use it as a public display of your relationship status especially if it changes weekly and “it’s complicated”. Social media has turned us all into V.I.P.s so stop being the headliner of the day or week. I’d love to change my status from “single” and post lovey-dovey pictures, but I have none to post. Suit yourself on that one.

9) Do use it to check-in with old classmates and networks from past jobs, church, or groups with whom you’ve been affiliated . Your former colleagues may have job leads or information about a city to which you want to relocate. I believe in its inception some of these social media sites were created for these purposes only. There was one called “Classmates”. It pre-dates Facebook. Also, I remember when Facebook first began, you had to be a college student or in one of the school networks in order to join the site. Now it’s open to everyone and everything. Social media has definitely changed in the last ten years.

10) Don’t believe everything you see or read on there. Everyone is not who they say they are online. Don’t feel bad if your real life doesn’t match your online life. I believe in stretching the truth and acting as if to become all you desire to become; thereby creating the life that you desire. However, you don’t have to become a totally different person as some people online are doing. I believe this tidbit of advice will help those who are considering online dating, certain job posts, or Craigslist advertisements. Just be cautious overall when dealing with people you meet online. You won’t know who’s who until you actually meet them in person.

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Miss Positivity

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Happy New Year’s Eve Everyone!  The last day of 2012!  We have made it through another year filled with ups, downs, life and love lessons.  It’s time for us to move on into 2013 with a sense of peace and purpose.  For the entire month of December I devoted myself to a 31-day challenge of keeping a positive mindset.  I tried my best to monitor my thoughts, actions, and behaviors; what I read; what I watched and listened to; and who I hung out with.  Although this past month and my endeavor of staying positive was met with some challenges, which are sure to come to us in our life, I can say that my efforts paid off.  I actually feel that I’m getting back to my true self; who has always been a “glass half full” type of person. 

 glasshalffullI’m looking forward to keeping the positive lifestyle for 2013.  This is the only way we will accomplish and manifest the life and love life that we truly desire.  We want to experience all that God has for us; God’s best!  If not, then what is the purpose of living?  In reality, we aren’t promised to have only good days; but we can have awesome days everyday if we alter our perceptions of what’s really going on around us and in us.  Change is inevitable.  Without it, we are not growing.  When I was little, my granny would ask me everyday or whenever I saw her at least once or twice a week, “whatcha know”?  I always wondered why Granny would ask me that all the time.  I would always reply “nothing”; sort of dry-like and confused especially once I was in my teenage years.  Now as I reflect on that simple question, “what do you know”, I realize its importance, and why Granny felt the need to constantly pose it.

The more we know, or the more we are seeking out new experiences; knowledge; insights; the more we are growing.  That’s the purpose or meaning of life.  The acquisition of knowledge, or knowingness, and the ability to share what we are learning with others.  I’m sure Granny hoped that one day I’d give her a new answer; and I’m sure she knew that I knew more than “nothing”.  New information is constantly presenting itself to us everyday; especially now in this instant information age in which we live.  You literally have to be living under a rock or in a cave to miss out on the happenings of the world.  Sometimes it’s an information overload, and for me taking in all the new can become tiresome because some of it is meaningless and unworthy of spending good energy entertaining.  That’s why we must watch what we watch and listen to; too much negativity is exhausting, and we must combat it with positive energy, music, and thoughts. 

 Books-06Today is a great day for making resolutions for the New Year.  We always feel positive about the changes we want to make, but we don’t always stick to them.  Let’s seek to make our goals realistic and attainable enough to become a way of life.  Just like I promised myself 31-days of positivity, which may have become annoying to some of my Twitter followers, let’s promise ourselves to commit to making changes for the New Year that will impact us for the rest of our lives.  Becoming a better person; detoxing from negativity; obtaining a job or entrepreneurial idea; weight loss; seeking a healthy love relationship; whatever the goal or dream is not instantaneous.  Everything we are seeking to accomplish involves a process that begins within and will not manifest until just the right time.  The more positive we are about seeing the result; and the more we believe in its inevitability; and the more work and effort we put toward seeing it come into reality, the easier the process becomes.  Before we know it, we will have all that we desire.  Sometimes it will show up nothing like we expected, but the outcome will be good!

So what is it that you desire for 2013?  Write it down and start working on making your dream a reality.  In 31 days, I didn’t obtain the goals, dreams, or desires that I had written down, but I can truly say that my rewards are intrinsic.  I started the process of constant belief.  I decided to stick to something; staying positive about my life and the direction in which it is going despite its external conditions.  Just because you don’t see your dream right away, it doesn’t mean you give up; it means you keep going and keep pushing because there is a lot of work being done behind the scenes.  God knows; the Universe is working on your behalf because you believe.  I am believing with you.  The time is now!

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Digital Love

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Has technology enhanced or complicated our love and dating relationships?

Now this is a topic I have been wanting to discuss for some time. When you hear the phrase, what do you automatically think? E-harmony? Match.com? Facebook? Myspace? Online dating…Internet dating…the virtual hook-up…well whatever you think of, it’s all the same. Do you really think that people are “networking” on myspace and facebook? (Some are…either that or being nosy, trying to see what past lovers are up to and if he or she is married/in a relationship what have you) That’s just something you say when you don’t want to seem desperate for a date…”networking” yeah I’m making some assumptions here…lol Anyway, how is the digital environment affecting the dating scene? I will tell you my thoughts, and then let me know what you think.

I think online dating/mating is and can be fun. Yes, I’ve tried it! Lol “networking”. If you’ve never met the person before, it can be a lil scary, especially upon the first meeting. You don’t know what to expect, and you pray that the person is really who they say they are or the same person as the picture on their profile. Beware of people who try to “holla” who don’t post a pic at all. I don’t think anyone is that silly, but you never know. If you are meeting someone you met online for the first time in person, please bring a friend…and try not to just make it a “hook-up” unless that’s just what you are on (protect yourself).

Some of the benefits of the digital love world include e-mail, texting, instant messaging, and video/camera phones and web cams (I don’t have one of those), these amenities aid in keeping in touch especially for long distance relationships. Yes, we’ve come along way from the pen pal method. This works if you met the person out and about or online. The only disadvantage is that sometimes these methods can replace the need for “real” time or even just time on the phone. Believe you me, “there is nothing like the real thing baby” so the lil cute daily texts and e-mails are enough to sustain you while you’re at work or doing whatever it is that you do. When it’s all said and done though, these ways of communicating get you ready for the real time. Do you agree?

In reality, some relationships need not go any further than digital. Sometimes it’s just flirting…but when signals get crossed it can become hazardous…I mean you could really be feeling a person, but do you really know them if you’ve never really spent time with them or even talked to them on the phone? The digital world does help us with our busy schedules. Sometimes it’s just easier to drop a quick e-mail than actually spend time on the phone. This type of communication has turned me into a non-phone person. When it comes down to it, dating digitally or physically is just like this song my girl always sings “if your heart isn’t in it…” But it’s true…”where your treasure (time, money…emphasis mine) is, there also will your heart be” (Matt 6:21). So what are you making an investment in? Are you really just networking and having fun, or are you really trying to get to know someone? Or just making an online booty call? LOL! Regardless of your dating methods, the intentions of your heart will be revealed.